Do you find yourself wondering "Does marriage counseling work?" If your having a hard time getting along with your spouse you are not alone! If you need to save your marriage there are some specific therapies that can help save your marriage.
Most people will automatically tell you that your marriage may be in trouble because you are not communicating effectively. A therapist will have you and your spouse air your grievances about each other while the other listens, and then the roles are switched.
This technique is great and all. But it DOES NOT work when you are fighting. Active listening will just lead to people saying hurtful things about each other when they are fuming about something.
Have you tried going to a therapist? When you go you will most likely go through the steps of active listening. That is the exact reason that traditional marriage counselors have such horrible success rates. Do you know of any other therapy that has an 18% success rate? Active listening just does not work when used in the middle of an argument!
If this is true, does marriage counseling ever work?
Marriage counseling can work if it can bring back the feelings of love and friendship you have, or had, for your spouse. Try to find a therapist that concentrates on bringing back those positive feelings.
If you consider your spouse your best friend, your marriage becomes a lot easier. You may still fight, but you will be able to get past your negative feelings. If you are best friends you will be much more likely to work out any negative feelings you may have. It really helps you avoid contempt.
You can make your marriage work by relearning to 'like' the person you are married too. There are many exercises that can help you remember why you fell in love in the first place. If you can save your friendship you will be able to save your marriage.
If your marriage lacks respect and friendship, it is very likely to fail! These are the fundamentals that keep couples together for years. Most couples run into trouble when these feelings fade.
This is why learning to communicate better will not do anything to help save your marriage. Whats the point of effective communication if the feelings of love, respect, and admiration aren't there? This is the precise reason that traditional marital therapy has such dismal results.
You need to find an effective system to help you re-ignite the feelings you had when you first met your spouse. The first step to saving a marriage is not learning to communicate better, it's learning to love your spouse again.
So whats the answer to the question, "Does marriage counseling work?" It does, but, only if you can find a marriage therapy that helps you work on the flaws that are creating contempt and negative feelings with your spouse. A lot of traditional therapy focuses on communication and understanding without touching on the fact that you really need to bring the admiration and passion back into a marriage first.
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